Sunday, December 23, 2012
the finals of it all.
circa 2008, again
temperatures rising enthalpys dying entropys increasing spontaneity is beating. gimme gimme more.
temperatures rising enthalpys dying entropys increasing spontaneity is beating. gimme gimme more.
the danger of indifference and emotional blogging
i just remembered this blog and how 2008 it is of me. it's annoying, but 2008 me is still me.
i must say that i've finally found a sense of contentment. it may be temporary, but then again, what is permanent these days? i'd like to believe that my lack of tears is a result of hidden assurance that everything is going to be okay. i know that there are some things that i can't change, and i must accept that, no matter the cost...
i felt like a monster for not being able to cry. shouldn't i shed at least a single tear? at first i suspected the worst possible emotion (or lack thereof) that ravages youth -- it's called indifference. but when it came down to the core, i realized that i care too much. it breaks my heart to see the future disappear that i'd rather close my eyes and devise alternative endings than face issues too uncomfortable for any of us to speak out loud. so all the problems, all the annoyances, all the grievences...will be confined to the internet, which isn't really confinement if you really think about it. and that's the thing, i could never spill personal thoughts while aware of the fact that anybody can access them with the click of a button. your words -- every single emotion you felt and kept near and dear to your heart available to foreigners ready to criticize. i refuse to enter that phase of openness.
so who/what's to blame for this social isolation? perhaps it's the internet that detaches us from the real world as we create idealized identities. it's not hard to get lost in an cyber environment filled with people searching for themselves. and maybe the the rest of us who remain unaffected, attain an emotional barrier as we find ourselves disillusioned by a world that's no longer our own. or maybe it's something simple and within ourselves. either way, i'm not going to let it stop me, because that's not who i am. i have other resources. we all do. it's a matter of searching for them and never letting them ago, no matter the price...
me: how can you fix something if its foundation is broken?
me: tell me please
friend: contruct it one piece at a time.
friend: and if the pieces don't seem like they fit, try another one.
i must say that i've finally found a sense of contentment. it may be temporary, but then again, what is permanent these days? i'd like to believe that my lack of tears is a result of hidden assurance that everything is going to be okay. i know that there are some things that i can't change, and i must accept that, no matter the cost...
i felt like a monster for not being able to cry. shouldn't i shed at least a single tear? at first i suspected the worst possible emotion (or lack thereof) that ravages youth -- it's called indifference. but when it came down to the core, i realized that i care too much. it breaks my heart to see the future disappear that i'd rather close my eyes and devise alternative endings than face issues too uncomfortable for any of us to speak out loud. so all the problems, all the annoyances, all the grievences...will be confined to the internet, which isn't really confinement if you really think about it. and that's the thing, i could never spill personal thoughts while aware of the fact that anybody can access them with the click of a button. your words -- every single emotion you felt and kept near and dear to your heart available to foreigners ready to criticize. i refuse to enter that phase of openness.
so who/what's to blame for this social isolation? perhaps it's the internet that detaches us from the real world as we create idealized identities. it's not hard to get lost in an cyber environment filled with people searching for themselves. and maybe the the rest of us who remain unaffected, attain an emotional barrier as we find ourselves disillusioned by a world that's no longer our own. or maybe it's something simple and within ourselves. either way, i'm not going to let it stop me, because that's not who i am. i have other resources. we all do. it's a matter of searching for them and never letting them ago, no matter the price...
me: how can you fix something if its foundation is broken?
me: tell me please
friend: contruct it one piece at a time.
friend: and if the pieces don't seem like they fit, try another one.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
--
I don't know how to analyze this silence
if I tell you everything
you'll give me an unsatisfying answer
and we're too close for you too say you're sorry.
you say you're too blame
but we both know too well, that it was me.
it was me...
three years broken in one night
I was lonely and impulsive
I didn't care about the repercussions
that are now felt by my stomach
please tell me we can be us again
you, me, friends again.
sweet dreams, i win.
if I tell you everything
you'll give me an unsatisfying answer
and we're too close for you too say you're sorry.
you say you're too blame
but we both know too well, that it was me.
it was me...
three years broken in one night
I was lonely and impulsive
I didn't care about the repercussions
that are now felt by my stomach
please tell me we can be us again
you, me, friends again.
sweet dreams, i win.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
GROW UP
get over it and grow up. do better next time. don't you dare give up. stop thinking about all the silly little details and what you could've done differently. What happened, happened. face it. you can't stay in your room all day dreaming your life away. that's the tricky thing about the subconscious state: you have to wake up eventually. why not now?
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